Anxiety, dread, fear, failure. For 1 hour and 45 minutes, I stood in the baking sun on a dust-ridden road in the middle of nowhere experiencing every negative emotion on the spectrum. And oh yeah, I realized I forgot to pack sunscreen as well. Here I am, on a journey to 'hitchhike to the end of the world' and I can't even snag my first ride. The fear that this journey would end before it even started was smothering me like a blanket, in 85 degree heat.
Something needed to change. First, shade. I desperately needed shade. So I picked up my bags and got to walking. After about a mile I found a nice shady spot in the grass. I dug out my shorts and changed right on the side of the highway, I didn't care at this point. "What am I going to do if this doesn't work?" - was all I could think to myself. So I sat down and ate an apple and had some water.
But then I realized it was all a mind game. I learned this trick back when I walked the Camino de Santiago. Journey's like this require a lot of alone time, and a lot of alone time can lead your imagination to many different potential outcomes. But I know how to play this game. Be present. Remember the task at hand. Don't get ahead of yourself. I went into this knowing I was going to spend a lot of time waiting on the side of the road. But still, there's something different about that first time.
I swear there was magic in that apple, because the second I finished it I was overcome with this feeling, this knowing, that it's taking awhile to get the first one, but once I get it this is all going to feel like old hat. I looked at my map. Another mile up the road there's a split in the highway and a roundabout, looks like a good spot to try. So on I went.
Not 5 minutes of standing there and a car pulled over. Two girls from Chile, heading about an hour and a half in my direction. Whew! Ok, this does work. I can make it.
I don't think I stopped smiling the entire time I was sitting in that car. And in the days since, I've learned that waiting isn't always fun or comfortable, but it makes the ride that much sweeter. When I left that day I knew I was going to hitchhike to the end of the world, but I didn't know I was going to become addicted to it.
To those two girls (Isadora and Fanny) I'd like to sincerely say thank you. I don't know how well this post will translate into Spanish should you ever see it. Nor do I know if words exist to express my gratitude to you both. What I can say is thank you for dancing in the car, slowing down so I could take pictures, sharing your oranges with me, and even getting out to take a photo with me. What I don't have words for is this: You gave me more than a ride that day, you gave me hope. And I'm eternally grateful.
See you out there,
J. James
